If there is one word to describe the collective feeling of families adopting from China in this season, it would be “grief.” We are grieving lost time with our children. We are grieving separation. Please remember this, we feel the same love for them that we do for our biological children. The pain is raw, intense, and real.
Month by month as our country fails to bring the pandemic under control and travel estimates are pushed back we go through the stages: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Over and over again this year, we’ve walked through these emotions. Denial. Anger. Bargaining. Depression. Acceptance. All played on an endless loop.
And after a year of grieving, adoptive families are tired. We are weary.
I do believe, however, God does not waste our pain. He wastes nothing, and He will not waste our heartbreak. As adoptive families, we signed up to step into the world of grief. We signed up to walk steadfast into the deep waters of trauma and loss because our children know loss. They are well acquainted with grief, as their place in our families came first by the loss of their own.
I pray when we are united with Esme, Andrew and I remember the grief we experienced during our separation from her. I pray our experiences now, shape empathy and compassion for our girl as she processes loss in her own life. I pray we do not waste the lessons we are learning now. I pray God uses this pain for His glory.
